To Regret or not to Regret....

How would you deal with it after having done something unsatisfactory?

I recently encountered a notion concerning “regret”, seeing it as a false pride (as if one could control the past), and implying that we should not regret.

I have long had my own thoughts about this emotion. Since regret is such a common emotion that may affect our happiness, I will share some thoughts about it here, and welcome others’ opinions.

My thoughts on this are drawn from my basic understanding of the word’s meanings.

There are two, or at least two, meanings of the word “regret”; in Chinese, they are “後 悔” and “遗憾”.

The former, 後 悔, focuses on feeling bad about having done (or not done) something in the past, as if wanting to go back and redo it, but hating not being able to. Such an emotion could be intense, leading one to dwell in the past and find it hard to get over with. In this sense, yes, that notion might be right, regretting could imply a false “pride” of wanting to control the past, something no one can do.

The latter, 遗憾, talks about something unsatisfactory being left behind. Although this also involves emotion, but compared to the former, it is less intense and implies having moved forward. It is more of a reflection (on past unsatisfactory decisions) that could be learned from, so hopefully one can do better for the future.

We all have regrets. To me it is fine to feel 遗憾 (yíhàn), but not so fine to be stuck in 後 悔 (hòuhuǐ).

What are your thoughts? Join our discussions on this and everything else about our happiness and well-being!

(Graph generated with Craiyon).